Joann ♥

Mine mine

2012-02-24T00:44:00.000+08:00

Cause I'm his fruitcake and he's my potato.

Don't be hatin' . HEHE

in between

2012-02-22T22:32:00.001+08:00

See i really like Tumblr. I like 9gag too. i can surf both of them at the same time. It just gets to me when people say who copied who and blabla. Just enjoy them and smile!

Tumblr makes me happy cause it's everything i cant express out in public. Some words i cant put to words but at Tumblr it seems possible. Ahhh and no im not emo but i do get emotional at times. But it isn't a crime yes? Emotions are a big part of being a human being.

9gag for me is everything silly. It makes me laugh and scoff at the same time. Sometimes i wonder why i even read it cause it's just so silly at times. Like Y I SO RETARDED kind of thing. haha. But it does make me happy. It taught me what is a fruitcake and what is a potato. HAHA.

That's why i called myself a fruitcake.
SO YEAH

.
.
.
.
.
wei se me wo tian tian biao cuo qing?

Miss!

2012-02-20T14:38:00.001+08:00

I miss Aussie! :(

Stop it guys!

2012-02-19T10:11:00.001+08:00

Many people assumed I'm emo or sad about the break up with my ex just because they see me post a couple of sad or angry tweets or pics at Path, Twitter or maybe even Tumblr if they have my link.

I just wanna say YOU'RE ALL WRONG. I am fine. More than fine. I will not be like how I was last year. I know what I want this year. I am not sad at all. People move on. Things change. Not meant to be. It's just that simple.

What I'm sad or angry about these days.... Well it's a secret. Not much of a secret . Just dumb me thinking dumb things actually. So yeah.

I AM FINE for the last time!
Peace!

Why oh why

2012-02-16T15:30:00.001+08:00

I never in a million years would have guess that I would be in this state. Like I can't believe I let myself be put in this situation. Ugh!!!!

You know I can't resist you and you used that to have fun with. Decide to talk to me when you feel boring n decide to not talk to me when you don't feel like it. Who do you think you are? ==

Trust me when I say this. I will get over you. PEACE OUT!

Just cause i wanna do it!

2012-02-15T12:21:00.000+08:00

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
- still sleeping!

2. Who are you in love with?
- you !

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
- nah

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
- im not sure. my room is still dark. belum switch on lights ba!

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
- errr few weeks ago kua

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
- NEH

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
- nah

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
- i cant drive YET but hopefully soon!

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
- NOH

10. Are you hot?
- HAHAHHAHHAHA no

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
- my saliva

12. What are you wearing right now?
- shorts with baggy tshirt

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
- wash myself kua.

14. Last food that you ate?
- peaches with ideal milk which is last night. now still early baaa. haven went downstairs yet

15. Where were you last week at this time?
- macam i rmb ==''

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
- nehhhh

17. When is the last time you ran?
- bu ji tek

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
- in my dream last night i was at the Knicks game watching j.lin killing them all. HEHEHEH

19. What is your favorite animal?
- dogs la

20. Your dream vacation?
- no particular destination for now

21. Last person's house you were in?
- a chinese medicine dude's house

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
- when i was like 8-10, i accidentally cut a piece of flesh out from the back of my feet. PAINFUL SHIT

23. Have you been in love?
- yeah. or maybe i was just in love of the idea of love. I DONO BROH

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
- HAHAH. im done with that shit

25. Last play you saw?
- never seen any

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
- just smile!

27. What are your plans for tonight?
- bandar with mumsy

28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment?
- never had a myspace acc before leh

29. Next trip you are going to take?
- bandar ba!

30. Ever go to camp?
- no oh

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
- == NOOOOOOOOOOO

32. What do you want to know about the future?
- AM I GONNA GET OVER THIS PHASE OF MY LIFE?

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
- just woke up la. maybe got saliva smell. HAHAHA

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
- dentist is more like it and yesh

35. Where is your best friend?
- workinggg

36. How is your best friend?
- busy lor. edy got big task to handle

37. Do you have a tan?
- NEH

38. What are you listening to right now?
- pcd- im done

39. Do you collect anything?
- ntg eh

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
- everyone is!

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
- NEBER MUM

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
- duh

43. What does your last text message say?
- "oy im at chms alr"

44. Do you like hot sauce?
- not really. I LOIKE TOMATO SAUCE

45. Last time you took a shower?
- last nightt

46. Do you need to do laundry?
- neh not my job

47. What is your heritage?
- wo bu ming bai ni de wen ti ==

48. Are you someone's best friend?
- YA

49. Are you rich?
- poor as fuck. n im dead serious ==

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
- thinking abit too much and putting myself in a bad mood. LOL

Golden rules :p

2012-01-25T20:56:00.001+08:00

There is only 3 things I look at when I'm looking for a partner.

First, you must NOT be afraid of lizards cause I am very very terrified of them. I need you to protect me and kill it. Not just merely shoo it or scare it away. I need to feel safe Lo

Secondly, you must give me your white egg and eat my yellow egg. That way we will be fair and square. HEHE.

Third and lastly, I need you to be a romantic at heart. Show me that not all guys are dumb and Blurr. Show me that chivalry still exist. I don't need you to treat me like a princess but instead treat me as an equal.

That it bruh. I'm simple like tht :)

Don't Judge

2012-01-09T13:15:00.001+08:00

Many people don't take the time to understand and instead they just make judgement based on what they think and it's getting kinda old. I get so disappointed and mad at times cause i thought we were friends so why do they have to think such ways but then it sank in. Maybe we were never really friends in the beginning. Just those kind of hi-bye friend or those "form6" friends which last 1 or 2 years max.

For example, many people assume the reason me and my ex split is cause of this guy friend im very close with. Like when my ex's back im with him but when he left, im with my this guy friend. I had this accusation on me for so many times that i dont even bother to explain anymore now. Like i said, it's getting kinda old.

Many people also assume i have a boyfriend now due to the fact im always having lunch and hanging out with this guy friend. The reason why is cause actually i do not have alot of friends. Guy friends esp. Cause most of them are dicks. Used to think they are nice but i was very wrong.

People also like to think im stucked up because i dont have the brightest smile when they see me or i don't say the most sincerest hi when i saw them on the streets and so.

.
.
It used to really get to me that people misunderstand me this way but it's been way too long and i dont care anymore. If you dont respect me, i dont need to respect you.

Illusion

2011-12-21T10:32:00.001+08:00

Back when i was at Gold Coast i think

Looks so thin, so slim, so petite

But then again, it's just the angle of the photo that's messing with your head

BooHoo

Better off alone

2011-12-11T00:23:00.001+08:00

The feeling of being ignored in a room full of people with people you used to call best friends in it is just..... Wow

I know where I stand now :)
Thanks

The Vow (2012) - Official Trailer [HD]

2011-12-10T08:54:00.000+08:00

I. WILL. WATCH. THIS.

Love love love

2011-12-04T10:07:00.001+08:00

This is my very first casing n it's also the one that I love the most. Non could compare to it.

I noe it looks plain and yellow but lately I have an obsession w the colour yellow. Kinda like banana yellow or baby yellow. The colour is so warm. N the plainer it is, the more I'm gonna like. Cos I hate those patterny n complicated one. Eeks!

I jus love love love the casing. Heheh.
Thankq for hearing me babble shit. Bye-bye!

Klaine!

2011-12-02T12:19:00.000+08:00

oh my god, my KLAINE <333333

the way Blaine tells Kurt he loves him is so true. Like it comes from the heart though it's just a movie

I love love love them

Been stalking them on Tumblr for DAYS.

Just can't get enough

Cutest on screen gay couple ever.

died.

Casing

2011-11-30T10:15:00.001+08:00

Not the biggest fan of this casing but He gave it to me so imma just use it.

That's how I roll.

And p/s: ignore my bad skin :)

Beautiful

2011-11-25T18:32:00.001+08:00

WHY AM I SO PRETTY? hahahahahahahahahhahaha

......

2011-11-24T13:43:00.001+08:00

Somehow i always realize i don't have a good title post. It's always "..." or " :)" or "random".
HAHA. Stupid me.

Anyways, my point today is just to say that i LOVE the fact that noone is active on blog anymore. Thus i'm more able to say things more honestly. Yes there's still views on the blog but it's all mainly spam views i think.
I'm blogging more often now cos tumblr can be overated at times esp with those posts.

"if you don't reblog this, you're heartless" or "i don't care if this doesn't suit your theme, you must reblog it or you can just die"

WTF. Posts like these really irritates me. Listen sister, i will reblog watever i want and scroll past whatever i want.

Facts bout mua :
1) im working now but not for long i hope. this is not the life i want.
2) im not close to any of my friends that i used to call "bestfriends" at chms n smsa anymore exp #amerypoh
3) i use two towels when im done showering. one for my body and one for my face. and the length of the towels r equally same
4)im still not over the past.
5)I just got an iphone lately. every shops r telling me they only have black n the prices they offer r as cheap as 800+ but no. I made up my mind about the white one so in the end i finally found a shop that sells white one but it cos $160 more than others offer me. pssh idgaf

After i quit my job in god knows when, i believe i won't be active in blog nor plurk anymore. So yea ~

GLEE - Performance of "Run the World" from TUE 10/4

2011-11-24T13:00:00.000+08:00

One word : COOLIO

Baby of the Family

2011-11-22T09:30:00.001+08:00

Yes yes, title says it all. I am that. It's not all glamorous at all pls. Allow me to elaborate on this.

Yes, i don't do dishes. I don't make my bed after i wake up. I don't help in the kitchen. I can sleep till the afternoon if i want to and yada yada yada. I used to like being one. Makes me feel protected and always not having any worries or responsibility. But lately it's kinda a drag i think?

My parents expect me to be more independant on some things but the thing is the do not give me a chance to learn on how to be so. Foe example, they want me to learn on how to find things out on my own for my studies but they don't let me to go out on my own and find it out. They expect me to just find out alll the information on the net. I dono. Just frustrates me at times.

And also now that i'm older i hate being seen as the one that always needs to be protected. I rank 3rd in the family, with my lil bro being the youngest but they baby me more than him. I hate it at times.

Pls just let me grow up.
-.-

Bo Bo Bo Boring!

2011-11-21T15:29:00.001+08:00

God, i'm bored out of my mind at work -.- If it wasn't for the money i wouldn't come back after i'm back from vacation. Pfft. Money money money. Money is the only reason on why i'm here sitting on this chair, typing on this keyboard instead of sleeping my days away. Grrr! Sounds so materialistic but the truth is wifout money, we can't survive at all. Haih

anyways, i'm not gonna blog much. i only tumblaaaaaa. HEHE.

iim getting more and more out of topic. LOL.
bah byes

Randommmm

2011-11-18T10:42:00.001+08:00

He be thinking, " wazzap wif this bitch?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

2011-10-12T11:38:00.001+08:00

Brought the little ones to Seria for a bath and just to clean up overall cause next week I'll be busy. ;) This girl is so good with dogs. She has many dogs herself also as i've seen in her house. Her business name is Pawfection Grooming Boutique & Day Spa. Not only that, she also ig good in baking and making desserts. Sweet Addictions is her business too.

There's more pics at facebook. U can check it out though. Ok enough time to see my babies :D

Adorable

Bath awayyyy

All Clean!!!!! ^^

As most of u had known, there's a new pup in my fam. A German Shepard. My papa and bro fav. I love him too. He's very hyperactive and playful. Im not gonna train it though. I mean its not my job. It's the brother's job. I alr am doing alot by ALWAYS being the one to clean their poop and wipe their pee if they happen to accidentally poop/pee in the house. Pssh but nevertheless, i love them. I don't mind the work too much.

Man Man! :DD

All cut!

What's taking them so long???

The girl who bath them loveeeee Man Man so much. Pudding very kepo and patpo so ppl not really like her. HAHHAHA. Sad case

Nvrm i love can liao. :D

Which one R you?

2011-10-11T08:56:00.002+08:00

Im sure everyone is familiar with the Seven Deadly Sins. It consists of all the bad sides of us humans and i for one realize, i almost have em all. == The demons has totally took ahold of me. I have no control of myself when im mad or sad or whatever. It scares me. I do noe i need to change but i find it so hard. Once im mad, it's like i don't even know who am i. I say things i dont mean, I lash out at people who've done nothing to me and i expect them to say sorry even when i know it's not their fault.

It's killing me really. Maybe i need to see psychologist. LOL

Envy

"Love is patient, love is kind…" Love actively seeks the good of others for their sake. Envy resents the good others receive or even might receive. Envy is almost indistinguishable from pride at times.

Avarice/ Greed

This is about more than money. Generosity means letting others get the credit or praise. It is giving without having expectations of the other person. Greed wants to get its "fair share" or a bit more.

Lust

Lust is the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth. Sex, power, or image can be used well, but they tend to go out of control.

Sloth

Zeal is the energetic response of the heart to God's commands. The other sins work together to deaden the spiritual senses so we first become slow to respond to God and then drift completely into the sleep of complacency

Vanity/ Pride

Seeing ourselves as we are and not comparing ourselves to others is humility. Pride and vanity are competitive. If someone else's pride really bothers you, you have a lot of pride.

Wrath

Kindness means taking the tender approach, with patience and compassion. Anger is often our first reaction to the problems of others. Impatience with the faults of others is related to this.

Gluttony

Temperance accepts the natural limits of pleasures and preserves this natural balance. This does not pertain only to food, but to entertainment and other legitimate goods, and even the company of others.

If you ask me, i would say i am Envy, Sloth, Wrath and Gluttony

and you are??

DejaVu

2011-10-07T15:59:00.001+08:00

Lately, i haven been able to keep my feelings in check. And i hate that. I don't wanna relapse. I've experience this feeling before and it is so hard on me. I take it so personally. But somehow i got over it. Though i must admit i got over it in a wrong way. But the point is i did.

But now it's back again. I do not like this. The insecurities, the comparing, the damage it has done to my self esteem. I just wanna feel good about myself. I don't wanna be getting jealous, mad, stress or intense for this. It's not worth it.

.
.
.
.
.
And I'm so sick of seeing people living my dream.
So darn sick....

hohum

2011-10-06T09:36:00.001+08:00

To think of it, it's quite tragic really to realize that there's not much people i truly consider as friends. Not even a handful.

Seriously if i were to count my friends, there's only 2 person who really took the effort to be with me and talk to me and be there for me. Others just isn't. I suppose i should be sad n in some way i am sometimes but i learn to dgaf anymore. It's not like we were really friends anyway.

Like they say, "Don't take pride that you can make 100friends in a day, instead take pride when you can keep a friend for 100 years"

The Glee Project

2011-09-24T10:01:00.000+08:00

Omg omg omg! Cameron Mitchell is so hot.

He's got that awkward geeky shy cuteness which makes him oh so hot

Im so sad he's eliminated. Like WHYY GOD WHY. Ok dramatic wtf

He sung two songs which is just love love love

One is the cover of the Beatles song " Black Bird "

Another is this.

Take a listen pls, for the love of God

Like i said, dramatic babeh

A Walk To Remember

2011-09-20T12:00:00.000+08:00

One of the most touching and sad movies i've ever watched.

For those who never watch this, you're seriously missing out.

Listening to this songs makes me emo..

2011-09-13T08:28:00.000+08:00

Currently at workk and im bored out of my minddd.
Real lazy to update blog though
Been so much more active on Tumblr.
HEHEH

k lahs.
Boring die here
Byes

Innocence

2011-09-09T09:42:00.004+08:00

FUUUUUUUUUUUU
I've lost my innocence.
Have you?

Thoughts

2011-07-27T00:10:00.006+08:00

Wearing a Superman shirt doesn't make me invincible

doesn't make me strong

doesn't make all the problems and doubts fade away

doesn't give me the promise of a better day..

Sometimes, it just means i'm a stupid spoilt teenage girl wearing a stupid shirt

time to face the truth

Linkin Park - My December (lyrics)

2011-07-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

Definitely my fav among all the Linkin Park's song

J. T. H

2011-07-01T22:08:00.006+08:00

HOW CUTE IS MY BABY HUAN?

Hehe!

Full name : Jeremy Teo Huan

Age : Coming 2 in 22 July if not mistaken

Status : My youngest cousin

He's the precious of the Teo family now being the youngest.

HE LOVES ME

I LOVE HIM

Booyah!

CHARMING I TELL YOU

his ride

precious dao siii

olalala

ignore the big one.hehe

Nerd

2011-06-15T19:31:00.004+08:00

Went to Miri this morning for some shopping

Wasn't planning to buy my things cause i was broke

But papa gave me some money so BOOYAH!

Anyways, stupid bro changed his glasses to those thick big frames one

Kinda nice though

So i took it and vained

HEHE

nerd max

ugly max

McD!!!

Yumms!

Woots!!

2011-06-09T23:28:00.005+08:00

Guess what peoples???

I am done with my exams!!!!

WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

No more dealing with 5 inches thick textbooks, scribbling on test papers till my hands are cramping

Most importantly, no more late night sleeps which causes PIMPLES

BUT,

i think i did bad on my last paper for Geog

When i finished writing down my last sentence for the last question, i feel so sad

Like the results is gonna be same as the first time

I've done all that i can

Now, i can only leave the rest to God

Please bless me!

Me patch me nose like 20mins ago!

before

after

This is baby girl getting "time-out'' for being naughty!

New Month

2011-06-01T23:37:00.009+08:00

It's a new month everyone! The month of June! Looking back, i don't even know how i got through the month of May which is HELL for me but i manage to and here we are now! I must say i can't WAITTTT for june 9th. :) booyahhhh!

Been starting to do alot of facial mask these days cause of my bad skin == been starting to have bad skin since 2009. I guess not eating any vege except cucumber has taken its toll on me. Psssh! Anyway, there's 2 type of mask which i use.

this is the cheaper one but still good.

This one is much expensive but oh so good

Other than mask, i've been using those black head remover sticky thingy on my nose. Too much blackheads and ugly things living on my nose.

I've been starting to be more aware of my appearance these days. Making sure i've done what i can to be as tidy and clean as i can. I don't wanna be all sloppy and stuffs BUT i still won't consider make up for myself. There's a thin line between wanting to be neat looking and being full on barbie :)

THAT'S ALL FOR THIS POST

HAVE A LOVELY MONTH AHEAD, EVERYONE!

God Bless :)

Sick Vain

2011-05-30T17:42:00.009+08:00

Title says it all.

SICK VAIN THESE DAYS.

;)

On a lovely Sunday morning to praise the one and only consistent man in my life, Jesus :)

I seriously forget when was this ><

This morning after i'm done with my 3 hour paper :D

mad happy :3

Decided to edit my post cause all these pictures are taken on the same day. I'm mad lazy to create another post -.-

with lamlam :D

miss.chiang

miss.chiang take 2

taken by miss.chiang

teehee

Love

2011-05-26T16:36:00.000+08:00

Where'd you go?

I miss you so

Seems like it's been forever that you've been gone.

I want you to know that it's a little f**ked up that i'm stucked here waiting ~

Rare Case

2011-05-22T23:51:00.003+08:00

Why hello there, lovely ;)

This picture was taken this morning before heading out. It's one of those rare moments which comes by once in a blue moon where i FEEL beautiful . The sun framed my face in the right light. RARE SHIT I TELL YOU. So just let me soak it in alright? Pssh!

Have a Blessed day, everyone! :D

Splurge

2011-05-22T00:56:00.008+08:00

I've always want a watch, a good watch that can last me for years. I don't want to buy just any watch that i would just use for a few times and throw it aside. So this morning i made my way to Bandar and bought one.

I totally spent over my budget. == I'm not really brand conscious though. I don't have a specific brand in my mind when i was looking through the watches. My only requirements was that it must be leather and be in white. Anyways, im shit broke now. :( but in some ways it's worth it i guess.

Pictos!

Flashbacks

2011-05-14T18:02:00.016+08:00

I was looking back at my old baby photo albums and time really pass by so fast. I suppose it's good in some ways and not so good in some ways. Depends on how you see things i guess. Imma expose some baby photos of me and some ancient family photos here. Enjoy! :D

round like ball

my King and his Princess

cranky ~

hen brotherhood sia. haha!

my bdy i guess?

the 4monkeys

stupid bro

my sister always look so gorge. pfft

classic max

random. can u spot me?

those days in Kuching

hen love sia ~

im ex sms pls!

expose max!

haha

Obsession

2011-05-06T16:34:00.004+08:00

These days, i've a real big obsession for pictures of bird and stuffs. There's just something about it that makes me feel so at peace and free. Just take a look at my Twitter and this blog page. It's the same bird background too. SHOOOO NICE YEA!!!

Aren't they dreamy? =DD

1 week, 7 days to my first June paper

Gah!

So nervous

God please bless me during May and June!

:(

2011-04-27T00:41:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow someone's leaving Brunei

Flight 10am

nothing much i can say anymore

Take care there and be safe

you will be missed, love

Lame Shit

2011-04-18T00:15:00.002+08:00

I was talking and laughing with my fat brother this evening and the conversation goes alil like this.

me : oi, dont scare Pudding with your fatness ba

bro : what ar? find fight now la you? (jokingly)

me : YOU AINT GOT NO SWAG!

bro: yes i do. this is my swag *shakes his fat butt twice*

me : O.o

bro : THAT'S MY SWAG, HOMIE

me : HAHAHAHAHAHHA LMAO ROFL HAHAHAHHAAHHAHHA

my lil brother is annoying most of the times but he makes me laugh too

stupid fatass!

Like seriously?

2011-04-13T02:02:00.002+08:00

I hate it when people already made up their mind about something but still ask my opinion.

And when i give them my answer, it's not accepted

If you're not gonna accept my opinion, why did you even ask for it in the first place?

To be polite?

To look noble?

Like wth.

It's stupid okay?

example 1

*phones ring*

me : hello

dad: darling, do you wanna go Miri later?

me: ermm dont want oh

dad: dont want ar?

me: yeah oh

dad: but we're going down for steamboat oh. all four of us are gonna go.

me: oh isit? i dont feel like it oh

dad: but it's nice lo and i have day off today. go lar okay?

me : okay(annoyed)

ya see what he just did there?

example 2.

yesterday

me: the ITB people call me to go interview but i dont feel like it eh cause i wanna focus on June

dad : up to you lor. you want to go and see also no rugi ma. you dont want also okay one ma

me: okay oh.

today

dad: u gonna go for the ITB interview?

me : dnwan eh. lazy cause need to wake up early

dad : go lar since no rugi. go see only la. ask mamy bring you up tomorrow.

me : *wtf face mode on* okay

YOU SEE?

so fucking pissed.

you win all.

My song ATM :(

2011-04-07T02:53:00.000+08:00

面对面坐着眼神不屑一顾
挤出的笑容看起来好突兀
我走错一步坠入万丈深谷
还是会想起你的荒唐糊涂
针刚刺在心上血流已如注
背叛了幸福拿爱当赌注
曾把感情放逐何时能结束
遇到你我想停止游牧让爱归真返璞
漂泊会落幕承诺说得那么铭心刻骨
你的眼泪让我无助
你懂不懂我为爱忍辱
努力学习宽恕原谅那错误
不甘我们的爱死在半途
听见你的心还在哭
遗忘不及痛蔓延速度
希望你能觉悟我真的领悟
伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆

还是会想起你的荒唐糊涂
针刚刺在心上血流已如注
背叛了幸福拿爱当赌注
曾把感情放逐何时能结束
遇到你我想停止游牧让爱归真返璞
漂泊会落幕承诺说得那么铭心刻骨
你的眼泪让我无助
你懂不懂我为爱忍辱
努力学习宽恕原谅那错误
不甘我们的爱死在半途
听见你的心还在哭
遗忘不及痛蔓延速度
希望你能觉悟我真的领悟
伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆
你的眼泪让我无助
你懂不懂我为爱忍辱
努力学习宽恕原谅那错误
不甘我们的爱死在半途
听见你的心还在哭
遗忘不及痛蔓延速度
希望你能觉悟我真的领悟
伤口慢慢愈合再被爱包覆

M:Sitting face to face
Not willing to glance even once
Forced a smile (on face)
It looks very abrupt/sudden
I have taken a wrong step
Plunged into the deep, bottomless ravine

W: I still remember/ will think of
Your absurd blunder
(like a )Needle that stabbed my heart
(made my) Blood flowed non stop
Betrayed our happiness
Use our love as a gamble

(M)Had let go of feelings
(W)When will it end
(M)When I met you I wanted to stop wandering
(W)Let love return back to its pure and simple state

T: (Our) drifting about will come to an end
(Though)Made such unforgettable promises/commitment

M:Your tears make me helpless
W:Do you know how I endured shame for our love
W: Putting effort to learn how to forgive
(M:forgive that mistake)
W: Unwilling to let our love die halfway

M:I can still hear your heart still crying
W: Can’t forget as fast as the pain that is spreading
Hope that you realize
(M:I really realize)
T:The wound will slowly heal
And will let love cover it once again

Update

2011-04-06T00:48:00.009+08:00

I've been very lazy to update my blog these days. I want to update it but i'm just so lazy to transfer pics and all that shitz. But here i am now so yeah ~

Last saturday if i'm not mistaken, i brought my Pudding to Bandar to get spayed. For those who don't know what's ''spay'', it means getting the ovaries out or tied up so that she won't get pregnant even if she ahem ahem (HAHAHA) and won't come period anymore.

After the operation was done and we went to picked her up, she was so weak and in pain. She couldn't even open her eyes. She just keep drowsing off and couldn't bark or anything all day. It was so sad. I feel sad cause i couldn't do anything to lessen her pain. All day i was feeling quite akajbsnfsgksejskdssz. -___-

The stitch on her stomach =(

='(

the least i can do is accompany her :(

me love

She's been recovering well so far. She could eat and drink already and she could even jump up and down but we always stop her from jumping cause of the fear that her stitch might burst. I'm kinda sad but look at the bright side, my girl can have all the SEX in the world and not get pregnant. HAHA.

Let's talk about something else.

My first paper is on May 13th. Last paper on the 9th June.

I feel like i'm gonna disappoint my parents once again. :(

i feel so stress! Exam's so near but i'm still slacking from time to time

I feel like slapping myself sometimes

WHY CANT I BE MORE CLEVER?

Been quite demotivate these days.

I keep thinking that in the future all of my siblings will be making it big and i will just be well, me

My sister will probably be working very well as an event management in SG or Sydney

My brother will probably be working as an engineer or something else in Shell, making 8K or 10Ks

My little brother will be studying his passion which is culinary and be working well too.

My parents won't force him to study at SMSA like they did to me

Cause they don't want him to make a mistake like me!

I'm THE mistake, THE example :(

And me?

I'll probably never leave Brunei

I'll be working as a Teacher.

A fucking Teacher

Get married, have kids

And die

Just like that.

That's my life.

God, please help me :((

Bless me, Lord

Let me introduce you to me friend, mr.Penguin.

He stores my junk.

He was suppose to be a dustbin but he's too cute

So i decided to save him.

HEHE

dont i look cute?

Oh my! my brain is exposed!

HAHAHA!

I officially crammed everything in one post! Lapsap blog benar! Haha!

Missing ~

2011-03-28T02:04:00.003+08:00

At this very moment now, i'm missing my siblings more than ever

Don't ask me why either

It always seems weird for me to miss them cause we were never the kinds that express feelings openly.

We don't go "Iloveyou" or "Imissyou" whenever we talk.

I'm very looking forward to this October cause both of them will be back

Sis back for long i hope but Bro just for 3 months i think, for his attachment.

If nothing clashes in my way, i will be well on my way to Sydney to attend sis's graduation!

HEHEHEHEH!

But don't put much hope is the best

Since i have such a sucky year this year.

-.-

My familia ~

Papa, Mama, Grandma

Big bro, Me, Sis, Fat bro

I WANT FAMILY REUNION ASAP! :D

King Kong Soundtrack - Central Park (James Newton-Howard)

2011-03-16T00:05:00.000+08:00

How can anyone forget a movie like King Kong? The first time i saw this movie i was only 13. I remembered crying so hard in the theater room. I remembered getting so mad at the guy who wanted to capture King Kong. Hell i was furious! To think of it now, i'm still mad at that stupid guy.

Anyway, do you all remember the scene where King Kong and the girl, Ann sitting on the high platform watching sunset in the forest? And the girl was telling King Kong that the sunset is beautiful? The background music to that scene was heartbreaking. Take a listen to it. :(

Booyah!

2011-03-08T00:56:00.003+08:00

'' Remember, If you hate me, It's mind over matter.

I don't mind and

You don't matter. "

Foreign Language

2011-03-02T16:17:00.002+08:00

Make up is my Foreign Language. I totally do not do make up. I leave the house the way i am. If i'm going out with my friends or what, i'll just brush my hair and maybe put on a little lip balm and that's it. It actually is funny to me that how some girls or should i say MOST girls, go all the way.

They apply foundation, fake eyelashes, mascara, lip gloss, blusher and all that shit on their faces. And yes it is beautiful and i think it's nice if you do make up once in a while but everytime?! That just screams alittle of "insecurity" to me. It amaze me how girls can spend so much time to get ready. I can literally get ready in 20mins. You may say i'm sloppy and do not care about appearance and all that. Maybe but i'm just not the type of girl that put 3layers of powder or whatever aafhafnkafkafajf on my face. I do not spend my money on buying whatever beauty products to keep my face clean. I merely wash my face with tap water everyday before sleeping. I may be a girl but i am such a boy at heart

I sometimes wonder am i born the wrong gender? Am i suppose to be a boy but somewhere in the process of making me, something went wrong? Take shopping for example, i hate the idea of going shop to shop to find shirts/dress/pants to try on. I HATE IT. I remember shopping with my sister and she always spend time going shop to shop finding clothes. Now she's at Sydney already, it's my little brother's turn. He always force me to go shopping with him. I wanna kill him okay? -.-

If you're the type that likes girls looking very hot, very sexy, very beautiful always, then i am definitely not the right girl for you BUT if you're the type that likes girls who are natural and who has more on the inside, i might just be the one. ;)

*PATTERN* hehe

陶吉吉 - 愛我還是他 MV

2011-02-26T16:25:00.002+08:00

黑暗中的我們都沒有說話
你只想回家不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太讓人害怕
溫柔你的手輕輕揉著我的發
你的眉眼說你好渴望我擁抱
你身體卻在拼命逃當欲望在燃燒

你愛我還是他是不是真的他有比我好你為誰在掙扎
你愛我還是他就說出你想說的真心話你到底要跟我還是他

愛~愛~愛~愛~

這是不是命運對我的懲罰
愛你也沒辦法恨你也沒辦法
陷在這個旋渦只想掙脫它
拉住你的手卻讓我也被拖下
你的眉眼說你不渴望我擁抱
每當愛變成了煎熬你就開始要逃

你愛我還是他是不是我可以做的更好讓你不再掙扎
你愛我還是他我寧願聽到殘忍的回答也不要再被甩
你愛我還是他我為你找了一百個理由我就是那麼傻
你愛我還是他是否沈默代替你的回答我應該明白吧
你愛我還是他你都已看不到我們的好我還為誰牽挂
你愛我還是他是否沈默就是你的回答我們都別掙扎

去愛他

We did not talk in the darkness
All you want was go home, I couldn't let you
Loneliness is as deep as ocean, It scares me
Your tender hand touches my hair gently

I could read from your eyes that you long for my hug
But you are running away when being inflamed with lust

Who do you love? Is she really better than me? Who are you struggling for?
Who do you love? Just speak out the truth Do you want me or her?

Love ~ Love ~ Love ~ Love

Is fate trying to punish me
I can neither love you nor hate you
Just want to back ou from this trap
But I was drag into it for holding your hand

I could read from your eyes that you don't long for my hug
You run away when love becomes torturing

Who do you love? If I could do better, will it stop you from struggling?
Who do you love? I rather know the cruel answer than being manipulate
Who do you love? I found 100 excuses for your behavior I'm such a fool
Who do you love? Is silence replacing your answer? I should understand
Who do you love? You can't see our future anymore Why should I care
Who do you love? Is silence is your answer? Then we should stop struggling

p.s : Sadly i'm the girl in white

All Grown Up :')

2011-02-25T22:24:00.008+08:00

If you are following with me at Plurk, you would know my baby girl, Pudding is having her period now. For weeks now her PP(Private Part) has been alittle red and all that but when i go check it there's no blood or swollen or anything. When i brought her to the Vet for her monthly check up, the Vet also said it won't come for another 3 more months or so

But last week when i let her out of the cage and walk around the house as usual, i saw red spots on the floor and i go touch her PP and it's BLOOD :O. I didn't told my parents until few days ago and my dad bought Pampers for her. I don't know if it's normal or not for dogs to use Pampers during period but for now i can only use this way. ><

Here's some pictos of her FIRST TIME using Pampers. HEHE

Still blissfully unaware of what's gonna happen next. *keke*

The Pampers!

She's like, "what's this thingy?''

Finally on

TADAAAAAAA!!!!

Either this is right or people are gonna say i'm abusing animals. HAHA. Anyways, i only use Pampers on her when she's out of the cage. So yeah, my girl is a woman now. Hehe. We both are strong single ladiesss!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rawrrr :)

Yummyyyyyyyy

2011-02-21T15:55:00.005+08:00

This is gonna be a food post. I love to eat alot of things. Sometimes when i have no appetite i can don't eat for days but when i do have the appetite, i can eat alot in one day. Don't know what's wrong with my appetite. Haha. I've always love Peaches especially those that come in the can. Ligo brand to be exact. I always mix them with Ideal milk and eat them as my desert. It's really yummy but i must warn you it's quite fattening. =)

Close up view. HEHE

Enjoyinggggggg

The chocolate above is amazing die also. Love Love it ~ HAHA. Yesterday i was chatting with one of my long time kawan and he said i'm beautiful the way i am but i should stop eating too much cause my face is fat. WTH WTH. hahaha. Make me speechless yesterday!!!

Peoples, keep in mind to always eat when you want to. Don't starve yourself just to keep your waist small or to look beautiful. The most beautiful people are the one who are themselves. So eat, play, laugh do whatever you want just as long you're happy! =DDDD

-.-ll

2011-02-20T02:24:00.002+08:00

The moment i knew the outcome, THAT was never part of my options anymore. I totally given up on it BUT you there, you go on making calls and giving yourself hope that it's still possible and it just dawned on you today that it IS not possible and now you decide to put that blame on me?! Seriously?.... I hate how you go on and on about it. Nothing's gonna change the past. Nothing you say now can undo the past so why don't you just shut up? It's not helping me at all. In fact, you're just making me more stressed and more frustrated than i already am. So do me a favor and just stop okay? As if ~

To Someone,

Sorry for being mad at you this morning

My mood was bad so i let it out on you

Sorry, C

2011 has been bad to me but i'm not giving up hope. Somewhere in the middle i believe things will change around for me. I will be happy in the future. I will be happy studying somewhere i like. I will have a boyfriend who's not like any of my lousy exs and will speak excellent English. I will be HAPPY again.

Nyehhhhhhh ~

2011-02-16T23:10:00.009+08:00

Hello peeps! My blogging mood came again so here i am laying on my bed blogging. I've been eating alot these days. Especially supper. Everynight i have to cook myself mee if not i'll be starving at night. One word to describe me = F A T !!!!! But i don't mind. Fat then fat. Most important thing is i keep myself happy. I'm not gonna be like one of those crazy girls who everyday complain themselves fat and want people to comfort them. -.- If you're gonna eat, then learn to accept that you will gain some weight. Fat fat fat, i don't mind being fat as long i'm happy :D

I've been addicted to some TV channels too such as So You Think You Can Dance and Junior Masterchef. Both are equally amazing shows and i've spotted some cute cute cuteeeeeeeee guys there. HEHEHEHHE. Pattern lai liao lor! HAHAHA. Imma show you the pictos!

Junior Masterchef's little cooks !

Pierre!!

Isn't he adorable?

Love die himmmm ~

So focus on cooking

Too bad he didn't win :(

This is SYTYCD's Alex Wong. Oh me Oh my Oh boy! Isn't he sexyyyyy? :P You all should go to YouTube to search for his dancing videos. He's really amazing and talented.

*faints*

How i wish i have a boyfriend who knows how to dance and move his body. No No, Let me rephrase that. How i wish I can dance as amazing as them. Hmmmm. Some talents are just not meant for me.

Quotes

2011-02-13T00:46:00.002+08:00

" When i was a little girl, i used to read fairy tales

In fairy tales, you meet Prince Charming and he's everything you ever wanted

In fairy tales, the bad guy is very easy to spot.

The bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who is he.

Then you grow up and realize that Prince Charming is not as easy to find as you thought.

You realize the bad guy is not wearing a black cape and he's not easy to spot; He's really funny, and he makes you laugh and he has perfect hair " - Taylor Swift

Princess

2011-02-11T16:37:00.005+08:00

Currently feeling abit down due to some problems in my life but there's no point saying it out. No one can help me but myself. I need to be focus in my target in life and be strong. Anyway, today the main topic is my princess, Pudding. See how adorable she is !

I think my Pudding is getting more and more spoilt each day. Her breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper consist of the SupaSave's $5.90 grilled chicken. Before she loves them and eat them everytime i give her but now she don't want to eat them anymore. She will only eat them now if i literally bend down on my knees and feed it into her mouth. Gosh! To make her eat i will also give her rice and mix them with gravy with chicken bits but she always don't wanna eat. *headache*

I let her bite my hands and legs and even if she scratch my face, i also won't scold her much. She's too adorable and cute ba. I ''bu se tek'' scold her lor. She use her puppy eyes look at me i already melt. Maybe i only know how to love her but don't know how to raise her. Hmph. Wth wth. Pfft ~

GLEE - "Forget You" Full Performance feat. Gwyneth Paltrow!

2011-02-09T02:21:00.000+08:00

This is SOOO cool. :DDDDDDD. Gwyneth Paltrow is like 30+ or 40 years old i think but she looks so young so refreshing here. I can listen to this song over and over again and not get sick of it. Her body is so in shape and her singing is amazing. I love this. Give it a listen! :)

Hmmmmmmmm

2011-02-08T00:41:00.003+08:00

I was going through my Tumblr dashboard and i saw alot of things. Inspirational post, Artistic post, Funny ones, Cute ones, and whole lot of loves one. At this point of my life, i am really fed up of anything related to love. I know i used to say that too but i still end up in relationships but this time i really felt a strong disgust towards love

I mean if u have it and it's real and amazing and wonderful then it's good. I'm happy for you whoever you are. But i wouldn't try to find love anymore. Even if it did came knocking on my door, i wouldn't care much about it. I just feel like it's so overrated.

"Omg. Baby just sent me home. I miss him so much already. When can i see him?"

"Baby, our relationship will last forever o. Believe me o. We can grow old tgtr de o"

" ai ai ai ai ai si ni liao o baobei. Bu ke yi li kai wo o"

"you're my forever o zhuzhu. I will marry you one day o"

"even if i die, i also wil come back find u and wil always stay with you o"

wth

Diam diam lar okay?!

This kind of feihua just keep it aside please. See dao also want vomit. Such immature love. And not to mention, babytalk like that is so eww. Like just grow the hell up. Btw, all those above are just examples of childish love i seen around. Not applied to anyone. But of course i still need love in life like from friends, family, siblings and not those bf/gf shits.

ANYWAYS,

my parents knew about my results already. Reactions from them are kinda expected and kinda not expected. Half half lor. At least now i can focus on my path and see what i can do with my life. Whatever it is, i will try my best in the future.

*fingerscrossed*

God bless

Over

2011-02-06T23:42:00.002+08:00

:'(

My results are devastating

I don't even know why i'm sad

I was expecting them to be bad already

Maybe a small part of me is hoping for a miracle to happen

But no.

It don't work that way.

I was quite pissed cause for some of the subjects, i studied my ass off!!!

Day and night i memorize non stop

But in the end?!

The results is the same as the subject that i have not studied well

Wth is this?

Saddens me max when i see everyone congratulating each other on Twitter for their "A's" "B's" "C's"

Where do i go from here?

My Singapore dream is no longer available for me

Really felt so shameful and sad

But i don't even have the rights to be sad

CAUSE I'M BORN STUPID

from the moment i start breathing, God has decided to make me the most stupidest girl on earth!!!!

WTH

jus ignore me and this stupid post

bye

Second Thoughts

2011-02-03T14:16:00.003+08:00

I take back everything i said on the previous post. I don't miss a thing about him, I am not sorry about a single thing i did to him.

I have hands i can eat myself. Dont need no fucking guy to feed me. I can drink water too whenever i want to. Dont need no fucking guy nagging me to drink. When watching scary movies, if i'm scared i can always hug a pillow or scream or hug my baby Pudding. And i hate biting your rough skin. It's disgusting.

And i'm not sorry for anyway i've treated you. That's my attitude and that's just me. I'm not gonna be sorry for being who i am. I don't need to be sorry for you. Maybe it's true that i have never respected you. Cause you never did anything to gain that respect.

And maybe it's true that the reason i'm sad now is not cause i love you. Is cause i'm just not used to being single. Not used to not having a person care me. Cause i've been in relationships all my life. So yeah, i'm not used to it. But i will. And pay in mind that you're not the reason i'm sad. Your love isn't all that anyways. You were never a good boyfriend

As for the girl, i just gotta say you're stupid. If he can do this to me, he can do that to you too.

I'm done.

Bye bye

I'm looking forward to my new life now :p

Miss, Sorry, Hate

2011-02-02T14:23:00.002+08:00

This will be a long and a very emotional post. It's a post that is full of anger and frustration and crap. So don't read it if you're not gonna be understanding.

MISS

I miss your hugs

I miss how you'll feed me when i'm too lazy to eat

I miss how you will force me to drink water cause you know i don't drink them often

I miss how you'll let me hug you when we're watching scary movies

I miss how you'll let me wash your hair eventhough you don't like it

I miss how you'll let me bite you

I miss You

SORRY

I'm sorry for that December night

I'm sorry for not giving a damn when you're crying

I'm sorry for not putting you first

I'm sorry for not being sweet enough for you

I'm sorry

HATE

I hate your cruel heart

I hate your fake love

I hate how you know that i'm sad but you just wouldnt care anymore

I hate how selfish you are

I hate how you make me sad in order for you to be happy

I hate how you once told me i'm more important than her in your heart but you still treat me like i'm nothing

I hate your ignorance

I hate how you said you'll never stop caring for me but you did

I hate I hate I hate!!!!!!!

What's the point of this?

I don't know

But i do know you're a monster

And my heart should know better

Shoulda known you were trouble from the first kiss

Will Karma get you in the end? I don't know

But i do know that i have to move on

I have to go on with life

A broken heart isn't gonna stop the world from spinning.

I Give My First Love To You

2011-02-01T21:02:00.007+08:00

This is a Japanese movie that is so amazing. A love story between two lovers, Takuma and Mayu since the age of 8. Sad love story actually cause the guy died in the end :( It's a remake from a manga series. Never read the manga version before but the movie is amazing. Youtube has the movie in 10 parts. Check it out alright? :)

*melts*

New Look

2011-01-31T21:14:00.004+08:00

I changed my blog skin cause i was kinda tired of the old one. I get tired of things very easily. Just like my Plurk page and Twitter page. I change the backgrounds so often. HEHE. Bad habit i think. Anyways, results is gonna be out soon. Oh me Oh my Oh boy Oh god! Nervous die seriously. I thought today it is gonna be out for sure but it didn't. So tomorrow sure out.

T.T I'm so scared like seriously. What if my results are not good enough for my parents? Or not good enough to enter Universities? Gosh, i hate myself for not studying hard enough before but now say all this are also useless. What done is done. Like what my papa say "Rice has already become porridge" so worry also no use.

Hmph! He now of course say like that. When results out already, i'm sure he will give a very different reaction. I better prepare ice pack in case he slap me. God bless me please :(

Oh and p/s, I hope i pass my test :)

Loves :))

2011-01-28T00:23:00.009+08:00

I don't think i give much credits to my friends for what they have done for me during this difficult phase in my life. Seriously without them, my state of mind now and emotions would be more messed up. They're always there to wake me up even if it means scolding me. Some just came into my life recently but has left a huge impact in my life. Let me list them out one by one

Hui Yii - Man, i don't know what would i do without her in my life. She's my best friend, My partner in crime, and loads. She is the one who over and over tells me its okay to cry its okay to hurt and to take it slow. She does not expect me to be okay overnight. Instead she takes her time with me. She hurts with me, sees me through it all. She motivates me in subtle ways. She don't do outrageous things to make me wake up. She's everything good in life

Ryan Siew - Oh my. How do i begin describing this cheap man of mine? HAHA. He's such a close friend to me. I hold him very close to my heart. It's so good to have a friend of the opposite sex with no string attached. He's the one who'll scold me from time to time to make me sees thing in the right path. But here's the funny part. After he scolded me, he'll feel guilty and comfort me back. HAHA. He's really one cheapass! But i likey!

Sharon Ho - This amazingly cute short adorable funny girl came into my life last year. Those amazing times i had with her at school or outside school makes my life so much better. She's the one who's constantly calling me "beh". I love it when she calls me that way. Sounds close to home :) We kinda lost touch few months back for reasons we don't even know but she never lets me go. She fights for me and i fight for her. Her offline messages from time to time to cheer me up and to make sure im fine is touching. She's pure from the heart :')

Zack Ling - Another of my cheap cheap kawan! HAHA. We were friends at school for two years but we never really hanged out or anything cause we were from different groups of friends. Amazing thing about him is when he know about what happen to me, he's there for me regardlessly. It don't matter to him we were never really that close. He just start caring for me making sure i'm fine and everynight force me online and chat! HAHAHA. Maybe because we are both emo people that's why ba! ahahah!

Michelle Yang - My classmate since pri.5. let's not talk about our old school past. Let's focus on her heart. She was there for me all along. Eventhough i always chose to not go out and not meet up that often, she stills message me from time to time to ask if i'm okay. She understands deeply on how i'm feeling cause i know she's feeling the same way as i do but she's so much stronger. So much more independent. I really look up to her. I wish i have her strength. Her ability to take it up and let it go. But sadly i cant. But it's okay cause i got her as a friend :)

People says angels will look after the broken hearted but I don't need angels when i have friends like these :) Of course there are alot more of my amazing friends. Candy Wee, PeiShi, Michelle Kheng, Siew Fun, Lee Chyi, Sheau Hui etc etc etc. I love you all :')

Here are some random pictures to be shared to you all. Enjoy

My newly dyed and Ugly hair T.T

Oops! He fell down i guess?

Me ''nge nge bu yao lian'' force baby Huan to take pic with me

How lovely is she? ;)

L.O.M.L

:')

2011-01-21T22:48:00.003+08:00

翻開隨身攜帶的記事本　

寫著許多事　

都是關於你

你討厭被冷落　

習慣被守候　

寂寞才找我

我看見自己寫下的心情

把自己放在　

卑微的後頭

等你等太久　

想你淚會流　

而幸福快樂是什麼

愛的痛了

痛的哭了　

哭的累了

日記本裡頁頁執著　

記載著你的好　

像上癮的毒藥　

它反覆騙著我

愛的痛了　

痛的哭了　

哭的累了

矛盾心裡總是強求

勸自己要放手　

閉上眼讓你走　

燒掉日記重新來過

Oh no !

2011-01-21T19:19:00.000+08:00

Emo songs ftw neh..

RAWR ~~~

*self slaps*

hmph

:))))))

2011-01-18T15:32:00.000+08:00

This video made my day!

I love everything in this video

His fast speech, his straight-to-the-point ness, his "i don't give a shit"

This is great motivating material for me

SINGLE LADIES QIN QIN PLS~

Hehe

Quotes

2011-01-16T21:22:00.002+08:00

" You don't want people to know that you're always sad and constantly crying. There's this incredible amount of shame and powerlessness you're bringing to yourself. You just have to be strong infront of people eventhough you're actually sad" - Gwyneth Paltrow

Determination?

2011-01-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

I gotta quit it

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe i can cause i don't want hurt myself nor my body anymore

anyways, these days i went Job Hunting with my babes these days. CHMS totally no hope for me anymore. Completely don't want consider me. Pfft ~ So i had to try else where, which i did. I hope i get it. My life will be completely different if i got it.

Can you hear my prayers at night, God?

Please Bless me ~

Enough

2011-01-14T14:53:00.002+08:00

Enough is enough.

I'll let go. It's so tiring being a one - sided love. There's no forcing love. If you were meant to be mine, we won't be in this state but we ARE here now. So i guess that says alot.

I truly wish you find happiness with her or whoever.

Take care, silly

Perfect Nightmare

2011-01-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

Why dont I just tell him goodbye

Sometimes I hate

sometimes I love

Sometimes I hurt

Sometimes I dont

Sometimes I wait for him to change

But its okay

I just disguise the pain

Keep tellin myself that its not worth it

I already know I dont deserve it

But if its from you I dont mind hurting

This is my perfect nightmare

So when will I wake up and scream

No way

My Soundtrack

2011-01-09T23:09:00.001+08:00

This evening, i lay on the grass on my compound with my brother and talked about things. I told him i wanted to get that thing that i want now so that i can have a new focus, target in life. I also told him how badly i wanna leave Brunei and go to further my studies in that place. But that has got to wait

I lay on the ground and watched the clouds move and change shapes and in that moment, i realize i cannot live like this anymore. I have to move on. I need to learn how to stop crying for a guy who won't give a damn about me. It's hard but i should try. I believe things will get better. Maybe not now but in time it will. In the meantime, i'll just hurt

It all just come down to patience. Hmmm

This song, I hold so close to my heart cause it describe my situation completely. :(

Take a listen!

She says

2011-01-09T02:08:00.005+08:00

She's a little scared to get close to anyone because everyone that said "I'll be there for you" left

W.O.W

2011-01-07T23:35:00.002+08:00

I used to think my first ex was worst enough but you there, YOU take the part. Thank god i found out and now i can have a focus that is to move on instead of waiting and thinking there's still hope.

Me sitting here infront of the laptop and complaining, you all might think i'm useless but you all know nothing. My hurt is turning into hate.

Knowing you and being with you for 18months is the biggest mistake i have ever made. Go have a wonderful blissful life with your Summer. (Y)

...

2011-01-06T15:02:00.002+08:00

It took my first ex prolly about a year or less to move on from me

and it took my second ex 13 days to move on.

ah, that's life

ain't nothing much i can do about it

just gotta roll with the punches

i'm waiting for better days to come around

i'm not saying i'm not gonna be hurt and that i'm not going to cry cause i will EVERYDAY

but i'm not gonna beg him back

i'm not gonna disturb him

i'm gonna let him move on and live his life

i'm going to stay hurt for as long my heart wants to

and when the day comes where i finally can move on, it'll be a day worth remembering

but for now, let's just let things be the way it is

An Jing

2011-01-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

:')

It's ok

2011-01-03T12:44:00.002+08:00

A simple '' i love you, baby'' from you last night kills me. It stirs up so many emotions that i have kept hidden. From that day till yesterday, i refrained myself from thinking about everything in detail and choose to ignore the pain, the memories and everything.

But now the wounds are opened and the walls that i have built up has all come crushing down..Couldn't sleep last night cause my heart felt heavy..

You said to be friends forever and ever but there's no forever no matter in friendships or relationships....

who am i to say you love me

and who am i to say you need me

i don't know anything at all

Bye

2010-12-26T13:23:00.003+08:00

We started off so good

We were honestly happy

You used to tell me, I was beautiful

Where did it all go wrong?

I can't believe there's nothin left for saving

How'd it go from being in love to alone

It's like swimming on forever but it's moving us downstream

We can't win together we're no longer the same team

So you can watch my great escape tonight

Makes me wonder...

What's the use of all this?

What else can we call this

Such a complicated love

Makes me wonder..

What's the point in crying

Passed the point of trying

I'm afraid that there's no saving us

Baby, I can't be your lifeguard

we're drowning

Nobody can save us now

p.s : Do take care ~

Top 10 hotties

2010-12-22T00:11:00.013+08:00

I came up with a list of hot guys that i love and i rounded it up to 10 guys. It's so hard to decide cause they are all so HAWT. mmm. anyways, here it is, It's not in any order. :D

Ian Somerhald.
He's the reason why i watch Vampire Diaries. Hehe
Hot alert - 9 out of 10

Vanness Wu
I started loving him since Autumn Concerto. *faints*
Hot alert - 8 out of 10

TaeYang
Mmm, i remember his "Wedding Dress" Hot oh hot !
Hot alert - 8 out of 10

Kris Allen
I was rooting for him all the way at A.I last year. So glad he won
Hot alert - 7 out of 10

Mark Sailing
What is Glee without him? He completes the picture
Hot alert - 8 out of 10

Channing Tatum
He is smoking in Dear John, Step up and loads.
Hot alert - 9 out of 10

Chad Micheal Murray
I started loving him since watching One Tree Hill. So gorge :)
Hot alert - 7 out of 10

Sam Worthington
He's one rising star isn't he? First Avatar then Clash of Titans. Yummy ;p
Hot alert 7.5 out of 10

Jerry Huang
Not many people may know him but he stars in Taiwanese movies and DAYUMM, is he hot ! He's an American Born Chinese plus he's like 6 feet tall or something *fans self*
Hot Alert - 8 put of 10

Josh Harnett
In Pearl Harbour, he stars as "Danny" and he died in the end. I cried like hell when he died. I was like "NOOOO. it's not fair. he's so hot "
Hot alert - 8 out of 10

There's definitely alot of hotties out there but these 10 are in my list FOR NOW :)
I'm feeling slightly "rrrRRRRRrrRRrr"
HAHA :)

This is what you call two faced

2010-12-20T10:36:00.003+08:00

5 minutes before Pudding peed on the floor mat

mom - aww, you're so cute ! I bought you your fav food. You must be hungry right? Cause you haven eaten all day since yesterday. OMG, mei (me), she just sneezed. It's so cute. Aiyo, dingding, why so naughty le? Huai huai !

5 minutes after she peed on the floor mat

mom - You're such a stupid animal. After feeding you all you do is pee and gimme work to do. Try you pee one more time. I'm going to throw you outside and let mosquitoes bite you. I'll throw you away. Stupid animal. Useless.

And you wonder why i hate you sometimes ~

Priscilla Ahn "Dream" (Lyrics)

2010-12-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves
And laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest swing
I had a dream

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down at me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest tree
I had a dream

oooo....

Now I'm old and feeling gray
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full, I lived it well
As many tales I live to tell
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing
I had a dream

:D

2010-12-01T22:55:00.004+08:00

My Twitter page

Isn't the background lovely? HEHE

My Plurk page.

ain't it cute? HEHE

When...

2010-11-29T20:25:00.001+08:00

When a teacher says "today, a new student has joined our class",

we automatically thinks "please let it be a hot guy, let it be a HOT GUY ! "

SO TRUE.

hehe

Far East Movement - Rocketeer ft. Ryan Tedder

2010-11-18T18:15:00.000+08:00

Here we go, come with me
There’s a world out there that we should see
Take my hand, close your eyes
With you right here, a rocketeer
Let’s fly
Fly, fly, fly
Up, up here we go, go, up up here we go go
Let’s fly (fly fly fly)
Up, up here we go, go, up, up, here we go go

Every move she makes :D

2010-11-18T15:23:00.005+08:00

It's been a while since i blogged about baby pudding. Today shall be all about her. My whole one month of studying revolves around her accompanying me. Everytime i study until very lazy, i'll walk down and find her. When mom's not home, i curi curi bring her upstairs. She pee i clean. She poop i clean. Imma show u cute cute pictos of her ! Must enjoy ar !

This was when Siew came over to my house to teach me bizp3

In the car outside WYWY :D

She's standing on her tippytoes

Adorable die !

She's about to sleep. Cute TTM!

Accompanying me study for Geog, my last ppr !

This morning at 8 smtg :D

Every move she makes fascinates me. I never seen a dog so "kep-poh" , so adorable, so soi, so naughty yet so lovable. I LOVE DIE HER! I got one more good news. My A levels is officially OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH FOR ME ! But i think i screwed my geog badly. Like real bad. Hmph.

Nevermind. Don't think about it.

HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY
HOLIDAY ! :D

Change

2010-11-15T23:45:00.002+08:00

We used to be close and now we just ain't the same

And that's just it

We don't need each other no more

When people come to me asking why, i'm left feeling puzzled

It's my fault?

My fault that i'm not socializing and smiling all the time?

That i'm not bubbly and friendly like before?

It goes both way okay?

Plus we were never really that close aren't we?

It's not just me who's changed

So don't go pointing fingers

o.O

2010-11-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

3 more days !

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Soldier

2010-11-12T17:23:00.001+08:00

I've been on this battlefield
I wave my love like surrenderin' today
I feel I've been pretty tough
Back and forth, now I'm going against

Because the bomb start falling
And I can't find cover
And I know you got my heart in your aim
In this war, we're still lovers
And I can't recover
My heart won't let me sustain

I'll be your soldier, be your soldier
Lay down my life and everything that I got

I'll be your soldier, be your soldier
Fightin' on the battlefield for your heart

Girl, I'm ready for war
Girl, I'm ready for war

I, I'm ready for war
Baby you can come and ride me til I have no wheels
Got a nigga in a zone and I gone gone gone just off a half a pill
Man that ass so fat from the back
Make a nigga really just wanna grab a field
I could be your soldier
Now welcome to my battlefield

I go by the name Soufboi
No he not like them other guys
Them guys, they lie
But I'm down to go head first off up in your thighs
Won the war for your love no hell man
Oh God damn, I almost died
And then she's so deep
Now it's time for me to sing a lullaby
Twelve bar so hard
You ain't never in your life
Seen another nigga out here like me
So raw, 2 bra, no draws
I guess they really wanna dite me
Wifey, I'd catch a bulletproof ___
I'm your soldier baby
Time to deploy

I'll be your soldier, be your soldier
Lay down my life and everything that I got

I'll be your soldier, be your soldier
Fightin' on the battlefield for your heart

Girl, I'm ready for war
Girl, I'm ready for war

Anticipation

2010-11-07T21:42:00.002+08:00

11 more days to go till the A's is over with

Can't wait!

Holidays

Rest

Relaxation

Friends

Fun

I CAN'T WAIT!!! xD

p.s : my new skin is adorable yes? :D

The Myth - Endless Love - MV

2010-10-25T00:57:00.001+08:00

Day 12. The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

2010-10-24T02:02:00.002+08:00

There's many people that has cause me pain

I'll be so angry that i just wanna scratch their face, make them mute so i don't have to hear their voice

But my anger, hatred seriously only last this long

30mins later i forget about it

But if you bring it up, i'll be angry again

From time to time i think about these people and think about the hate, the drama, the unnecessary blas

I think of how i can avoid them

Think of how silly i am to be affected by them

But it's just a thought

Life goes on, People change

And we learn to move on

Besides, it's never me to fuss about things that happen ages ago

That'll just be stupid no?

But then it's just me.

My addiction!

2010-10-23T23:48:00.004+08:00

don't you dare tell me they are not cute together!

HOT!

It's official! I'm in love with this movie series. I love the story lines but most of all i love the actors and actress! Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev are so cute. I wish they fall in love in the movie BUT for now it's not happening lor. Elena only has eyes on Stefan.

Damon! Elena don't want you but Joann Dora want you. Find me. :p

HEHEH

I'm 50% done with my Alevels now. 2 more subj to go, 6 more papers. HAIS.

Sigh

2010-10-12T17:35:00.002+08:00

*ring ring ring ring*

* picks up the phone*

Me : hello?

Dad: It's me. what are you doing at home?

me: studying

Dad: Your exams started already right? what subject you had yesterday?

Me : Ermm sociology

dad : so how was it?

What i wanted to tell him

"i dono how to do. i panicked and did section B instead of A first. I did not completed a 25marks question. i almost cry at the examination hall. I don't think i can pass it. I'm useless. I'm stupid"

What i actually told him

"It's okay. Haha"

FML

Frustration

2010-10-06T17:38:00.002+08:00

Boys and girls cannot be "Just Friends"?

I'm not respecting my partner?

We're too close?

It's impossible we're just friends?

Well, I beg to differ

Just wait and see

JV♥ ♥

2010-10-01T19:27:00.004+08:00

i'm totally in love with Joseph Vincent

i spent my afternoon converting his songs into mp3 so i can listen to them anytime

i checked his myspace and his YouTube account

i love his voice

the ways he sings is mesmerizing

i could listen to him sing forever

Emotion

2010-09-28T20:02:00.001+08:00

"So after a year and 6 months, it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God
I'll blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm pleadin', I'm tryin' to stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen, so fuck it, I'm tryin' to stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you, squeezin'
Til' I snap your neck like a Popsicle stick, ain't a possible reason
I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks, then I let you do and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple, I told you this

And I would've did anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now, it's too late to save our Love
Just promise me you'll think of me
Every time you look up in the sky and see a star"

day 11 - a deceased person you wish you can talk to

2010-09-28T16:40:00.003+08:00

My pick would be

Heath Ledger

I wanna know what could make a perfectly happy man commit suicide

was he uncontent with his life?

was he going through a very rough patch in his life that he cannot resurface from?

I wonder.

He's so handsome also

It was such a waste.

Hmmm

sexy much?

2010-09-26T19:40:00.005+08:00

i used to hate my nose

i hate how big it is

i hate when i laugh, my "soundwoofer" will appear

i hate the shape of it.

i always wanted small petite nose which makes me look more ladylike
.
.
.
well, not anymore.

there's a person who has a big nose but is so drop dead gorgeous

i love everything about him

his voice

his face

his jawline

and he is none other than....

WANG LEE HOM!

could you die?

lookie at his big nose

i have forgotten how handsome he is until today

i immerse myself in his videos in YouTube since 4pm this afternoon

and i couldn't get enough.

i am not a fan of any chinese singers

friends of mine would know how seldom i listen to chinese songs

but, he is The exception

i don't see how any other singers could compete with him

let's not forget he has a decade of hits under his belt

and with his good looks and godlike voice, he is King

well, this is only my opinion on him

if you disagree then, alrighty then :)

girl please~

2010-09-25T21:19:00.002+08:00

it annoys me to no end when a girl goes like "baby i miss you so much. you just don't get it. i know i met you like 5mins ago but i missed you the moment you left. i know we're already meeting everyday but still, i miss you so". PLEASE LAR! save the details for yourself and your partners. we do not wanna know.

And also, try to be considerate of people around you. you're lucky enough that you get to meet each other everyday, regardless of the time span. there are some people out there who don't meet their partners for quite some time. So when you go around saying how much you miss you partner after meeting him 30 mins ago or so, it makes you look bad, not to mention verging on annoying.

So learn to be more sensitive.

你不知道的事

2010-09-23T19:04:00.000+08:00

蝴蝶擦几次眼睛才学会飞行
hu die ca ji ci yan jing cai xue hui fei xing
夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地
ye kong sa man le xing xing dan ji ke hui luo di

我飞行当你坠落之际
wo fei xing dang ni zhui luo zhi ji
很靠近还听见呼吸
hen kao jing hai ting jian hu xi
对不起我却没捉紧你
dui bu qi wo que mei zhua jing ni

你不知道我为什么离开你
ni bu zhi dao wo wei shen me li kai ni
我解释不能说放任你哭泣
wo jie shi bu neng shuo fang ren ni ku qi

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨碎落满地
ni de lei di xiang qin peng da yu sui luo man di
在心里惊醒
zai xin li jing xing

你不知道我为什么很下心
ni bu zhi dao wo wei shen me hen xia xin
可现在你看不见的高空里
ke xian zai ni kan bu jian de gao kong li
多的是你不知道的事
duo de shi ni bu zhi dao de shi

蝴蝶擦几次眼睛才学会飞行
hu die ca ji ci yan jing cai xue hui fei xing
夜空洒满了星星但几颗会落地
ye kong sa man le xing xing dan ji ke hui luo di

我飞行当你坠落之际
wo fei xing dang ni zhui luo zhi ji
很靠近还听见呼吸
hen kao jing hai ting jian hu xi
对不起我却没捉紧你
dui bu qi wo que mei zhua jing ni

你不知道我为什么离开你
ni bu zhi dao wo wei shen me li kai ni
我解释不能说放任你哭泣
wo jie shi bu neng shuo fang ren ni ku qi

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨碎落满地
ni de lei di xiang qing peng da yu sui luo man di
在心里惊醒
zai xin li jing xing

你不知道我为什么很下心
ni bu zhi dao wo wei shen me hen xia xin
可现在你看不见的高空里
ke xian zai ni kan bu jian de gao kong li
多得是你不知道的事
duo de shi ni bu zhi dao de shi

我飞行当你坠落之际
wo fei xing dang ni zhui luo zhi ji
噢噢~
o o ~~
你不知道我为什么离开你
ni bu zhi dao wo wei shen me li kai ni
我解释不能说放任你哭泣
wo jie shi bu neng shuo fang ren ni ku qi

你的泪滴想倾盆大雨碎落满地
ni de lei di xiang qing peng da yu sui luo man di
在心里惊醒
zai xin li jing xing